Motherhood helped me to regain my womanhood…

I became a mother at twenty three years old. To be honest, becoming a mother at twenty three felt like getting pregnant in high school. While all of my friends were graduating college and traveling the world, I found myself reading hypnobirthing books and decorating a nursery. The beginning phases of motherhood were an extremely lonely journey for me. In my mind, I had to give up all that I was and dedicate my life to raising my daughter.

The reality was, my relationship was falling apart and I had completely lost myself. Actually, I had never even found myself to lose myself. I was somewhere straddling limbo trying to regain a physical form of someone who existed. Then, my world did fall apart.

I lost everything.

My engagement ended. My daughter and I were homeless, living with friends. I could not find a job that allowed me any time to be a mother. I was twenty six years old and had officially hit my rock’s bottom. I had become a statistic. Single mother. Jobless. On welfare. So what did I do?

Hitting my bottom meant one thing: the only place to go was up. At the time, I had just launched Black Moms Blog, a collaborative blogging site where women talk parenting, culture, and lifestyle, just one year earlier. I had around 30k community members and had just learned how to monetize my site by creating engaging content that spoke to my audience. Within six months of living with friends to get back on my feet, I had launched an official business through my platform, earned more than SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, and moved my daughter and I back into the apartment building my ex had kicked us out of. In six months I discovered just how far I could push myself to win.

My beginning had begun again.

It took another three years for me to start walking in my purpose of self healing work. During that time of getting back on my feet, I realized I was surviving. I wanted to learn how to thrive. Surviving was no longer good enough. As a mother, I did the unthinkable and started to put myself first. I did it in a way that felt uncomfortable. I started to exercise. I wore braces on my teeth. I made these improvements to help my physical but most of all, I started to do work on my mental. I began to practice positive self talk and no longer strunk myself to not be seen.

I allowed myself to shine bright.

In stepping out of the shadows, I realized that I had began to liberate women around me to step out from their own darkness and let their own light shine. In that moment, I knew my passion was to help Black mothers rediscover their womanhood, grace, and femininity. I wanted to teach women that loving themselves first was a birthright, not a privilege.

I am currently walking in my purpose.

Today, I walk with my head held high. I am a sister to my sisters and a friend to myself. I encourage women through my retreat company, The Self Care Retreats, sessions, private consultations, writing, and spiritual healing work to heal themselves through self love. If I can help one woman to heal, she will in turn help other women heal. That is always the goal.

My ultimate lesson was learning that I no longer wanted to be a martyr to my own pain. I was tired of telling the same story of hurt. So I decided it was time to write another. This novel is still going but I can tell you, it is a beautiful journey filled with love, laughter, and positivity. We are all the creators and narrators to our own books. Are you ready to change your story?